I thought that one of the most striking things about Salinger's writing style in Catcher was his use of several variations of the phrase "it killed me." According to a post by Evan, this phrase is used 34 times in the novel. That just kills me, it really does.
I interpreted his use of "it killed me" to mean that he liked something or thought it was funny. Since reading the novel, I've noticed that I use the phrase as well, in a similar way as Holden does. When someone says something funny I often tell them that they're killing me. However, I also use the phrase in a very different way, to express displeasure. For example, "it kills me to see someone in pain."
Holden casually throws around this phrase, as if death doesn't matter to him. As if he's invincible. The few scenes where he really contemplated death really struck a chord, because he was getting serious about something that at other times it seemed like he didn't care about. After the disaster with Sunny and Maurice, he contemplates suicide. I guess it really killed him.
Holden doesn't seem to care too much about his own health and well-being. He spends a few days gallivanting around New York on his own, drinking too much while barely eating or sleeping. This behavior really could kill him. His casualness about his health makes it especially jarring to read about the few occasions when he gets serious and starts thinking about life and, more importantly, death. It really made me wonder just how serious he was. He doesn't seem to care about his health, so could he actually commit suicide? Would he actually go through with it? OR was he just being a phony?
