Esther

I'm really excited to read The Bell Jar. From the few chapters I've read, I already like the novel. I'm intrigued and I really want to read ahead. Part of my excitement comes from the fact that we're finally reading a novel with a female main character. I think a book with a female narrator will be easier for me to relate to than one with a male narrator, like Portrait or Catcher.

Coming of age novels are something that people my age should be able to understand and relate to pretty easily, since we're going through the process of coming of age while we read the novel. I think it's easier to relate to the problems and thoughts of a narrator of the same gender, because they might have more experiences in common with your own. I identified with Stephen Dedalus and Holden Caulfield to some degree, but I'm hoping to have a deeper connection to Esther Greenwood.

I really did enjoy reading Catcher in the Rye, but I am very excited to see what The Bell Jar has to offer. Esther Greenwood's dissatisfaction with her life is very relatable for me. I'm happy with my life, but I often get the feeling that I could be doing something more. I feel like there are better, more meaningful things that I could be doing, but I just don't know what they are.

For all of our similarities, there are many places where I don't identify with Esther, and even find myself questioning her sanity. She presents a very different image to the world than what we, who are privy to her thoughts, see. I'm interested to see if these two selves, the one that she shows people and the one who she really is, will ever collide.

Perceptions

Catcher gives us a good idea of what Holden thinks about other people and the world, but we don't get a very good picture of how other people perceive him. Even when reading about his interactions with other people, I often feel as though my opinions on those people are being swayed by Holden's constant barrage of insults and snide remarks about the other person.

His conversation with Carl Luce is one of the only times when we see what other people really think of him. Luce is sick of the conversation before he even sits down, and does everything he can to escape Holden's company. Holden picks up on this, and it seems as if he is trying to defend himself as he describes their interaction.

"How's your sex life?" I asked him. He hated you to ask him stuff like that.

"What're you majoring in?" I asked him. "Perverts?" I was only horsing around.

In both of these examples, Holden blows off Luce's annoyance, making it seem to us like Luce was overreacting and Holden was just making a joke. He tries to make it seem as though he's really cool and Luce is boring and has no sense of humor, but all I see is a boy trying too hard to seem older than he really is. Luce repeatedly mutters something long the lines of "same old Caulfield" while Holden asks him increasingly ruder and more private questions.

With Luce, we see a bit of what he thinks about Holden, but it's still clouded by Holden's comments. In most of his other interactions, we don't get as clear an idea of the other person's perception of Holden. During his date with Sally Hayes, he makes her seem irrational even as he is acting increasingly erratic. He calls himself crazy, a description which I agreed with during that scene, but we don't know what "old Sally" thinks. Holden makes it very clear that Sally annoys him, and we don't get a clear view of her, or her perceptions of Holden.

Holden's narration is intriguing and compelling, but I often find myself wishing I had a clearer view of other characters present in the novel and their perceptions of Holden.

A stylistic genius

Joyce is an exceptionally talented writer. Every word of the novel is perfectly written to show the maturing of Stephen's mind and to exhibit the way that Joyce thinks of Stephen's actions. The symbolism, metaphors, and connections between different scenes in the novel are also incredible.

Upon reading the first scene, I was bewildered by the odd language Joyce used. Now that I've nearly finished the novel and seen the way Joyce matches the language in the book to Stephen's maturity, I'm much more impressed by Joyce than I was three weeks ago.

Joyce's writing has morphed from the choppy thoughts of a young boy to beautiful, powerful, and sometimes musical musings of an intelligent young man. Though sometimes I find it difficult to get through the pages, Joyce's style of writing is so unique that I still enjoy the reading.

When we discuss the novel in class, I'm always amazed at how much hidden meaning I miss. I usually only find about half of the metaphors connections between scenes on my own. I love that moment when something suddenly makes even more sense after someone points out another meaning of the words. This novel has completely changed my thoughts on the coming of age novel.

To like or not to like?

When Stephen Dedalus was a young, innocent boy, I liked his character. He was naive and socially awkward, but I thought it was kind of cute. Now that we're nearing the end of the novel, he doesn't seem so cute. He's exceedingly arrogant and yet I feel a connection to him.

Some aspects of his personality could be explained through hardships when he was younger, though his childhood was by no means difficult. His family lost a lot of wealth and social standing, but he still had a roof to sleep under and food to eat. What he hasn't had is friends -- true friends -- who he can trust with anything. He's lonely. An outsider.

I think the idea of being an outsider is something a lot of people can relate to. There's always some situation where even the most confident, friendly, and popular person will feel as though they don't belong. Unfamiliar situations, especially those where the other people are all well acquainted with each other, can really make a person feel uncomfortable.

When Stephen felt left out of the group, even when it was by choice, I understood what he was feeling. I generally don't perceive myself to be an outsider, but I have been in several situations where I've felt like the odd one out.

There were definitely several moments throughout the book where I've felt a connection to Stephen Dedalus. There were also countless times where I was completely disgusted by him. He's selfish, arrogant, and lacks self control.

My opinions on Stephen are constantly fluctuating, changing multiple times a chapter. I can't decide whether or not I like him. He's an intriguing character; as despicable as he is relatable. 

To come of age

I think coming of age means becoming mature and able to interact as an adult in society. It's a gradual process; you don't become an adult overnight. One day, you may come to the realization that you are now an adult, but it is the product of years of development and may come earlier for some than for others.

In American culture, we tend to measure coming of age by a person's literal age. 16, 18, 21, they're all considered milestone ages in a young person's life. At 16 you can drive. I'm 16 and I don't have my license. I also don't think I've come of age, though I don't think that getting my driver's license will suddenly turn me into an adult. At age 18, you become a legal adult, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're mature. Even by 21, a person may still rely on their parents for support and guidance.

Education is another way we often attempt to measure maturity. Graduating from high school can mean moving on in life, as can graduating from college. Though these are pivotal moments in one's life, I believe that they can happen without a person having come of age.

I don't think maturity is dependent on age. A person's life experiences shape the mind and affect the way that person thinks. A person who has gone through many trials and hardships will mature much faster than someone of the same age who has led a fairly easy life, because hardship forces people to face the "real world." 

Gaining experience in various worldly matters is how a person comes of age, and you never stop gaining experience, so I think coming of age is a never-ending process.